Kucau.net

The Perfect Password:

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the
appropriate point in the process, she told him that he would
now need to enter a password. Something he could remember easily
and will use each time he has to log on.
The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would
try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife’s attention.
So when the computer asked him to enter his password, he
made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in….

P…
E…
N…
I…
S…

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
***PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH**

Just in case you need a laugh:

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school
diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs
or Vacations.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet,” which
tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the
problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe
sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a
sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ‘
pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by
maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an
accident.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement .
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last………………

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on
something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.